Permanent orgasm denial is a hot topic — in more than one sense of the word, too. First, it’s hot because in the male chastity community it’s often considered to be the “holy grail”, and something a surprisingly large number of men aspire to.
And it’s hot because the thought of having a man wanting and needing to orgasm and he is prevented from doing so at your whim is a real turn on, and one I believe almost any woman could come to enjoy if she but gave it a try.
Alas, there is a lot of misinformation and confusion about what male chastity and permanent orgasm denial really are, and that leads many men and women (in particular) to decide it’s not for them even before they’ve tried it or even given the very idea a fair hearing.
So in this FAQ I answer some of the most common and pressing questions I get asked about male chastity and permanent orgasm denial:
- Is Permanent Orgasm Denial Safe? Strictly, we cannot answer this question with a definite “yes” because it implies perfect knowledge. By this I mean, you could keep a million men in permanent orgasm denial for 30 years with no harmful effects, but find after 31 years it causes problems. What we can say, though, is there is NO compelling evidence to suggest permanent orgasm denial is dangerous to a man’s health. Uncomfortable, yes. Frustrating, definitely. Painful… sometimes? But dangerous? Not as far as we know.
- Will we still be able to make love? Yes, of course. It’s true you have to be more careful and creative, and it may be that full penetrative intercourse becomes too “risky”. But in that case there are many, many alternatives such as oral sex, a multitude of sex-toys and even the possibility of taking a lover to satisfy your needs (if your husband, boyfriend, or lover truly craves permanent chastity and orgasm denial, it’s not fair for him to expect you to do the same, and your insisting on taking another man to your bed, even if you allow your husband to watch, is entirely reasonable. This is called “cuckolding” and is a very common fantasy for men).
- Do I HAVE to cuckold my man? Absolutely not. My husband, John, and I are aiming for his orgasm denial to be permanent in the near future, and there is no way on God’s green Earth I want to cuckold him. He is and always will be the only man I ever want.
- Is Permanent Orgasm Denial Cruel? No. This is another common misconception. You have to understand, male chastity and orgasm denial are always by consent. What’s more, in the vast majority of cases, your man wants this — that’s why he’s begged you for it. If you let him cum and show mercy when he begs for it, when he’s come down from the peak I guarantee he will tell you he wishes you’d been stricter with him. If he’s begged you for permanent orgasm denial in the cold light of day, then that’s what he truly wants. Giving it to him is a gift.
- Does this mean my man is a “submissive male”. Not necessarily, no. Male chastity, orgasm denial and male submission are often found together, but it’s a mistake to assume they are causally linked. As an example: over the past 200 years, the number of pirates has closely fallen with the rise in global temperatures. This means the two are correlated. But no one in his or her right mind would claim low temperatures cause piracy. Many men simply enjoy the physical sensation of not cumming. Yes, I find it odd, too, but that’s OK: I’m not begging for orgasm denial.
- Is it all about the sex? Am I not a proper woman and have done something wrong? Definitely not. Most men know they are not living up to their early performances, either in bed or out of it. Men who crave chastity intuitively know if you severely restrict their orgasms for a long period of time (including permanently) they will be the loving, attentive ardent man you fell in love with. All those sex-hormones swishing around in his bloodstream practically guarantees it.
- What if he cums when he’s not supposed to? Can I stop him? Well, there are two sides to this. If he wants to “cheat”, there’s no way to stop him. No male chastity device is 100% secure, or ever can be; what’s more, a very aroused man can probably orgasm while he’s locked, no matter what he’s locked in. But if he does cheat, then he’s the one losing out on his own fantasy. And the other side of it is “accidental orgasms” while you’re playing. These things happen, and it doesn’t have to be a big deal unless you choose to make it one.
Ultimately, your success with male chastity and permanent orgasm denial will come down to two things: open and honest communication between you both, and a thorough understanding of the facts by becoming informed about the nitty-gritty details.