Whenever network marketers and network marketing coaches wish upon a star, even the most pragmatic of us holds out hope for finding that magic bullet which will empower our people and ourselves to create a breakthrough in our business-building success.
I’m not entirely sure (but after a dozen years of coaching network marketers, I’m “pretty” certain) that I’ve found such a formidable round of ammunition–but I am certain I’ve discovered the right target: Network Marketing Success is all about Handling the big “R”, which stands for public (and professional) enemy number one of all network marketing direct sales people: REJECTION. There! I said it (again).
The Big “R”. Conquer it, and even the loftiest heights of success become inevitable achievements.
Let’s take a closer look…
re-ject. According to The American Heritage Dictionary, reject (along with its close relative, re-jection) means: 1. To refuse to accept, submit to, believe, or make use of. 2. To refuse to consider or grant. 3. To refuse to recognize or give affection to (a person). See Synonyms at “refusal” (Which I did, and here they are: “decline, reject, spurn, rebuff, withdraw, repudiate, and turn down.”) 4. To discard as defective or useless; throw away. 5. To spit out or vomit…
…Enough! It’s no wonder the Big R is as Repulsive, Repugnant and Revolting as it is–and that it is as BIG a problem as it is for Network Marketing Sales persons the world over.
“So, Throckmorton, what do you say about my product and business opportunity?”
“Well, Muffy, I say ‘No.'”
Translation? According to American Heritage:
“Muffy, I refuse to accept it. I don’t believe it and can’t make use of it. I refuse to even consider your offer. In addition, I refuse to recognize you, much less give you any affection. Your product and opportunity are obviously defective and useless. I’m going to throw them (and you) away. Spit them out. Indeed, your product and business opportunity make me vomit.”
Rejection, the Big R… nice, isn’t it?
No, it’s not nice, not at all, not the slightest bit–and everyone knows it. And, therein lies the transformational success secret of Handling the Big R.
Rejection is the single most important factor in your success in this business. Every leader, heavy hitter, Upline success story I’ve ever come across in this business was a man or woman who could handle rejection. And I suspect that every drop-out, opportunity-hopper, once-upon-a-time network marketer who isn’t one anymore… came smack up against the brick wall of the Big R and was stopped cold.
“Beware of allowing a tactless word, a rebuttal, a rejection to obliterate the whole sky.”
… said the poet Anais Nin.
Beware indeed. That’s why rejection is so important for us to explore. And, according to whatever personal style you favor–to master, conquer, make friends with, love, or none of the above, but something else instead–whatever style you choose, you must deal with the Big R in some way which empowers you.
If you don’t, defeat will surely be snatched from the victorious jaws of even the most perfect network marketing direct sales possibility.
So, how to train ourselves and others to build a ladder over the wall of rejection?
Step One: Get out of denial about the business we’re in!
What “denial,” you ask (in denial)? Well:
What’s the biggest reason for failure in our business? No sales. (And please…is there any legitimate compensation pay plan that pays on anything other than sales volume? No, there is not.) If a distributor doesn’t sell enough products or sell enough people on building businesses who in turn sell enough products through their own and their organization’s efforts, nobody makes money–and when nobody makes money, nobody sticks with the business.
Truth is, we are the network marketing direct SALES business–and truth is, a great proportion of companies and their distributors are in denial about that.
One reason we have chosen to deny (or reject) that this business of ours is sales is because of all the historical negatives attached to sales and selling. And those of us who do so deny, do so deny, because we would rather avoid the subject than deal with our fear of the possibility of failure and rejection it represents.
Not only is fear at the heart of the matter of people’s avoidance of sales and selling, it is THE source of the Big R as well.
Salespeople make so much money because it’s a job nobody else wants. Sales income is such high “hazard pay,” because sales is such a “dangerous and risky job.”
You see, a sales person gets rejected for a living.
I think that’s one of the reasons we look down on sales people. Who but an arrogant, egocentric and puffed-up person would be so thick-skinned insensitive as to not be affected by the constant rejection? We’ve met those insufferable sales people who don’t/won’t take our well-considered (or just plain defensive) “No” for an answer. We reject them–and they just keep coming! Sheeze.
Don’t you just hate that? Don’t you just wish you could do that? (Of course, without being an over-bearing, boorish, obnoxious, self-centered, egomaniac.)
Sure you do. So what does it take?
Just one thing:
When your belief is larger than your fear, rejection is not an issue.
“Don’t take it personally…” Are you kidding? Now there’s something I reject. Tragically flawed though I may be, I have to admit that I almost always “take it personally.” When I don’t, I’m suspicious that I don’t really care.
Here’s how I’ve got it wired up (you?): Reject my offer, recommendation, whatever–and you’re rejecting ME.
Believe me, I know well the rationales. I’ve written them often enough: What’s being rejected is the message, not the messenger. Great. Thanks for reminding me; but it still hurts.
Appreciation and recognition are a pair of fundamental life values of mine, as I know they are also for many people in our people-people business. Saying “No” to something I believe in strongly and have passion for, stomps (even if gently or accidentally) on my values, and I don’t like that or feel good about that.
So, given the above equation, it must be that I’m more afraid of not being appreciated and recognized for something else that’s very important to me–my contribution. The fear of rejection is larger than my belief that I am contributing. After all, if I told you Dances with Wolves was a moving must-see movie and you said “Stick it, John–the only good Indian is a dead Indian,” that’s a contribution I don’t get to make ’cause you rejected me.
Bottom line: That’s a choice I just made–and I get to live and work with it. And since it–i.e., to be or not to be–is always a choice, always for each of us, it really behooves us to choose in favor of what will empower ourselves and others.
As Eleanor Roosevelt so perfectly put it:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
And why bother to consent to fear in any guise?
The Greek philosopher Diogenes was once seen begging at the foot of a statue. Asked the reason for his “pointless” behavior explained, “I am practicing the art of being rejected.”
So, what there is for us to do is to look and see just how big our belief is in whatever we are selling (product or opportunity), and, if need be, add strength and size (through exercise, just like you would in the gym) to our belief until it dwarfs our fear of having it–and/or we ourselves–rejected.
Rejection is in the eye (mind, heart) of the beholder. It is never an uninvited guest. And in our business, you give the Big R warmth and comfort at your peril. Network Marketing Success is all about handling the big “R”.
I Appreciate You.