There are no doubts–first impressions do matter in business and personal relationships. They are valuable quick estimate of people. However, too much reliance on your first reaction can mean a wrong evaluation of the individual.
In school the child who was different (in some way) was ostracized or the object of critical remarks. Adults often retain the habit and use it in the office or their personal relationships. Often the reasons for the opinions are lost somewhere in past history.
Most people allow some leeway to anyone who grew up in another country or culture. But first impression opinions are not always accurate about customers or co-workers.
You can clear your path toward commanding power by understanding people better. Have you noticed how your insight into another person tends to dislodge your criticism of him when he acts imperfectly?
How do we gain genuine insight into people? That is a vital question to answer. Your ability to influence your way in the world depends upon a right answer. We can find people to our liking by seeing them from a fresh viewpoint.
Never pass moral judgment on another. Do not label him as being “cruel” or “immoral” or “conceited.” Such labels prevent you from seeing the man himself as he really is.
It is so easy to attach a label on someone and let it go as that, but this is not the way to understand him. If we are to become astute persuaders, we must look beyond the outer effects and find out why a man acts as he does.
Supposing in your business you run into a customer who is almost persuaded but not quite sold on buying your goods or services. If your mind starts condemning him as being “stubborn” or a “waste of your time,” you are going to arouse a certain amount of your own antagonism to him. If your customer notices it, you may lose his good will and possibly the sale.
But what happens when you look beyond his outer show of “stubbornness” to search out the basic motive for his hesitation. You may find perhaps a doubt that he can afford your product or maybe confusion as to whether it will serve him as he wishes.
By applying the nonjudgmental terms of doubt and confusion, you have cleared your own thinking tremendously. You have detached your own emotions from the situation and can now persuade your man with maximum mental power.
Your simple switch in identification places you in charge of both yourself and your customer. The thing we must do is to replace our moral condemnations with psychological observations-and this is something we must work on constantly.
“Judge not that ye not be judged” is not only a religious precept but a 100 percent effective law of life that serves you with success in your business programs and your personal life. Here are more examples for making the big switch.
When someone shows off, do not condemn him, but intelligently see him as a person who needs your attention and approval.
If the other man acts selfishly, do not identify him as being selfish, know that he is too frightened and insecure to be generous.
When a man is cruel or hostile, he is afraid of something-perhaps he fears a loss of prestige, maybe he is worried lest he fail to succeed in life or maybe he believes that people do not like him. When you identify him as cruel, you are judging him and will have difficulty in persuading him to do what you wish..
If you see him as a frightened person, this is not a moral judgment but an observation of an actual fact about the man. Notice how much easier you find it to handle a person whom you know to be frightened than a man you have labeled as cruel.
Constantly ask yourself, “Am I judging this person or am I understanding him?” If you want the magic power of leadership, you will want to understand him.
Welcome opportunities to re-evaluate first impressions. Look beyond the outer shell or label and try to understand why he is acting as he is. When you apply nonjudgmental terms, you have detached your own emotions from the situation. You are then free to use your maximum mental power to create the desired results.