Hey, Jen, I just got back from the gym, and, boy, are my arms tired! But while I was there, Tim told me about something awesome. He has heard about this new whole body vibration machine called Noblerex. While we were working up a sweat (and let me tell you, Tim looks good in a sweat!) he was telling me about how total body vibration can have the same results as all that work we’ve been doing.
The gym was such a hassle today. You know how I hate to stand in line waiting for a machine. I’ve got better things to do with my time than stand there and watch some blubber-belly wrestling with the ab machine. Plus, these machines are so hard on my joints. I’m not as young as I used to be, don’t you know? But, as the nurse-practitioner said, exercise boosts your metabolism, but the effect lasts for only 24 hours. So, if I’m going to keep my girlish figure, I have to keep on going to the gym. Besides, if I don’t keep in shape I won’t be able to get out of a chair when I’m eighty-eight. What’s a girl to do?
So I continue to fight the traffic, wasting precious time and gas driving from home to the gym and back. What with waiting in traffic and waiting for machines, my exercise time isn’t relaxing. It’s just another source of stress.
So my ears perked up when Tim started talking about this total body vibration machine that lets you keep fit without leaving home and without working up a sweat. He says that when you use this machine, you can increase muscle strength, flexibility, and range of motion. He also said it keeps your metabolic rate up so you can burn fat.
You know those annoying commercials on television about those pills that are supposed to reduce cortisol, the stress hormone? That stuff is for real, and this machine even decreases it in your body.
But here’s the best part. This isn’t an exercise machine. It just sends vibrations through your body. Can you imagine? No more exercise. I can just see me in front of the television in the evening just vibrating away my fat and my back pain while oxygenating my blood, stimulating and flushing my lymphatic system, and strengthening my bones. All while sipping a Margarita.
This sounds like a bunch of baloney to me. You know what a skeptic I am! But Tim says this technology was developed to help the cosmonauts keep their bone density while in space. That means there’s gotta be some validity to it.
I hear Madonna, Gwen Stefani, and even Lance Armstrong use whole body vibration to stay in shape, and we know what kind of shape they are in. If it’s good enough for Madonna, Gwen, and Lance, it’s good enough for me. What would you think of this idea? I think we should go halves on one of these machines so we can both keep in shape Think about it and get back to me as quick as you can. I’m sick of the gym! See ya, Bren.
The whole body vibration machine replaces exercise with total body vibration. This fitness method also strengthens bones, oxygenates the blood, and reduces cortisol, among other benefits.